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I'm a New Me™ |
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A Light-hearted Look at Hypothyroidism, by Jody LaFerriere
I've been told I'm a grouchy pessimist. Well, I haven't been told that but I'm sure that's what people are saying about me, they never say anything nice. So to change the perceptions of the entire known universe, I am making an effort to look on the bright side of things. Even things that don't have a bright side. I will buy some disposable flashlights and tape those puppies to the bottom of the non-bright side things. Take my hypothyroidism... (Raise your hand if you thought the next word was going to be "please.")
Now I could crab and moan and cry and complain, and I know I probably have, over and over again. But New Me™ doesn't want my friends to roll their eyes whenever I open my mouth, so I'm going to come up with a handy list of things that are good about being hypothyroid. Maybe this can become like a yellowing Ann Landers advice column tucked in the corner of the mirror. (See how positive I just was about how much you'll enjoy what you're about to read? I didn't say "You probably didn't even get this far.")
New Me™ will now say the following positive things about my hypothyroidism. You can too!
[Insert the sound of crickets] Okay, on to the list.
- While it's not curable (yet?), hypothyroidism is treatable. There are so many worse things I could have wrong with me. Plus, my hypochondrium has greatly diminished as a result of my diagnosis. Now I just blame things on my hypothyroidism: "Is that pleurisy? Nah, more likely my TSH is off again!"
- It gives me a chance to see my doctor more than once a year! The need to retest and readjust my medication means I get to pop by his office a couple of times a year. It gets me out of the house just that much more!
- I have met some of the nicest people because of my hypothyroidism! I exchange mail regularly with people I've met at thyroid.about.com, or with people who visited my website because they read on of my other articles on this site. Some of the nicest people have thyroid disease!
- I've learned many things about the endocrine system that I'd never have known otherwise. Five years ago, if you'd said the word thyroid I'd have looked at my upper leg for some sort of bulging vein. (Okay, I'm only half kidding about this one.)
See, it only took me about 20 minutes to come up with four high-quality items. Well, I would have done it faster but I got distracted. Maybe that can be a positive too – I'm so easily distracted that when I do accomplish something it's so worth throwing a party to celebrate! Wait, that doesn't sound very positive. Let me try again. With hypothyroidism, I not only take time to smell the roses, I smell the daisies, carnations and hyacinths before I remember I was supposed to be going out to get the mail. New Me™ says I apparently have a little work to do – but as long as the journey is filled with flowers, we can worry about the destination later.
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Jody LaFerriere is a webmaster, writer and humorist. Visit her website at
www.bigdumptruck.com or write to her at
jody@bigdumptruck.com.
