Kiss My Goiter, Dr. Phil

An Open Letter to Dr. Phil McGraw, of the Oprah Show, About Hypothyroidism

Until you've lived it, Doc -- both sides of it -- you are whistling Dixie up our sit-upons by pooh-poohing the tremendous association between thyroid disease and weight problems. Your opinion that weight control might not be as easy for thyroid patients as for those not afflicted with such disorders, but added effort will do the trick, is most likely the biggest hunk of manure I've seen since my mare's colic suddenly released itself all over her veterinarian's work boots.

My prayer is that when medical science does catch up to the Hell we thyroid patients live daily, you'll all go back on Oprah to eat healthy servings of Crow Pie: I'd gladly bake a few dozen to donate, myself. I do not need for you to "pat my back" and say it's ok to be fat because I am thyroid-challenged as you so outrageously implied on Oprah's usually factual show. It is not OK to ME when I am too fat, nor is it OK to ME when I begin to look like a late-blooming, skinny teen boy -- but those are merely outward signs of the disease, the ones others see, while our bodies and minds are inwardly devastated daily and further beleaguered by physicians and laymen who simply do not get the big picture yet. There are conditions more important, more trying, than forsaking the Hollywood Figure, Doctor Phil: we're not all Barbie dolls nor are we all Roseanne at the onset of her career. It is not about body size: it is about body torment. Perhaps if the medical profession spent as much time researching thyroid disease, causes and cures, instead of telling us what size our jeans should be, many "fat, lazy, food-disposal Lardos" would get the thyroid treatment they need and the problem would solve itself -- but that wouldn't sell too many diet books, programs, or public appearances for Diet Gurus, would it?

So, Doctor Phil, I reiterate -- Physician, Educate Thyself on thyroid dysfunction before commenting on what you clearly do not understand as related to weight control. I do not need for you to pat my back or validate my size, but you are cordially invited to take my challenge, lose your hair with your mind and health, keep a department store of clothing sizes in your closet and a pharmacy of symtpom-reducers in your bathroom year-round, and kindly kiss my ....

big old spongy goiter.