Was Thyroid-Related Weight Gain a Trigger for Murder?
Not all spouses are supportive when their wives gain weight after developing a thyroid condition. But New York firefighter Douglas Mercereau, and his wife Janet Redmond-Mercereau, put a bizarre and tragic twist on this all-too-common situation. The Mercereaus reportedly fought constantly about the weight she gained after developing a thyroid problem, and the fact that she had reached over 200 pounds. Today, three months after the firefighter turned up dead at home with three bullets in his head, Janet Mercereau was indicted for his murder.
According to an article in the New York Times: "Earlier in their marriage, Mrs. Redmond-Mercereau said, she developed Graves’ disease, which required the removal of her thyroid, and she gained weight because of the illness. Her statement said that the weight gain bothered her husband and that he became verbally and physically abusive. She sought a divorce, and he moved out."
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Comments
This is a tragic event. It will be interesting to follow the trial and the medical evidence presented. I have to wonder what kind of person is so insensitive to a medical condition which is quite complex and causes profound changes to the physical and psychological status of the person afflicted.
My husband was going through a lot of stress at work when I got sick.He refused to believe that I was sick and he felt that I was acting the way that I was “just to make his life miserable” even AFTER I had a diagnosis and was being counseled and medicated.(grossly under-medicated,but I didn’t know that at the time.I was taking 125 mcgs of Levoxyl only and I now take 4 grains of Nature-throid)
At the time,he was in the Navy and they are not known for being supportive for issues at home.He was actually told that his family was not issued with his sea bag.
He was never physically abusive,but he was verbally abusive,calling me a fat,lazy,useless biatch since I couldn’t do my “job”,ie take care of the house/him/kids.
He couldn’t deal with the work/home stress so he started cheating.He wanted a divorce and I refused for months….until I felt much better and realized that we’d be better off away from each other.I didn’t truly start healing until he was out of my life.He,on the other hand,died a month after he was released from active duty.
My (now former) spouse was never supportive of anything that was not about him so, no, my hypothyroidism was no exception. A couple of years ago I was dating a doctor who knows all about thyroid problems; however, he one day mentioned to me that my “butt could be smaller” even though he knew how faithfully I work out and healthily I eat. I walked away from that and never looked back.
I have gotten better at choosing my company nowadays…
Sometimes it takes getting a condition like this to find out who you really married. Fortunately, my husband has been nothing but supportive, and I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been for the women who not only had to deal with the weight gain and fatigue, but also an unsupportive partner.
Yes, my hubby is 100% supportive. BUT he is concerned about my health because of my weight. He is afraid I will die long before him and he wishes he could do something about that. On occassion he will comment “do you really need to eat that?” when I am eating something that I KNOW that I shouldn’t. I am definately bad about not doing everything I can to correct some of my weight problem. But it is not abusive when he says it, you can tell it is concern from him. And it doesn’t happen all that often, even tho I am always eating something that I shouldn’t. I had Graves Disease since 2001 and thyroid removal 2 weeks ago.
So ironic that Mary Shomon wrote this today. I just broke up with my fiance this past weekend as he would constantly badger me about my recent weight gain of 20 lbs within the last year and a half. This past weekend he yelled at me, in public, while we were hiking along my favorite trail and he told me that I was just lazy. This is despite my constant exercising and watching my calorie intake. He says women who claim to have thyroid problems just use it as an excuse even after I showed him articles and pamphlets previous to this incident. I am sad and very hurt but I’m so much better off without this loser. What an ignorant jerk!
Wonder if there are any guys afflicted with this condition that are checking out this site or are part of the forum?
Been in the Navy and so can understand SGraham’s comment. I almost couldn’t go home from overseas duty when my mother was in the hospital dying. He apologized when I returned from the funeral but his attitude was quite distressing during that whole time.
My spouse is so-so about my weight issures surrounding my hypothyroidism but at least he’s not mean or nagging, like some men.
It looks like I am blessed with my husband because when we began to notice my weight gain he tried to direct me to eat better and exercise but then I began falling asleep halfway through sex and wanting to sleep all the time we thought it was because I had a full time job, two kids and was studying for my MBA and even though he was upset and we did not even know I had a problem he tried to be as patient as possible. When in regular annual testing at my job indicated I had high cholesterol levels we were very surprised. The site doctor recommended I see a professional for medication. (My insurance would cover cholesterol treatment). One look at me and the doctor suspected a thyroid problem and ran blood tests. We were not happy about my condition but relived to understand what was really happening to me. Love my husband for his understanding, support and patience.
It’s interesting to read about what others are going through with their thyroid problems. I have a family that thinks I use my Graves Disease for an excuse for everything. I was even told, that there is a pill out there that would put me back on track immediatly!! I started out with Hyper and am now Hypo with a 32 lb weight gain. I have a husband that hasn’t been to one Dr. appt. or even asked how they went. I also ended up in the hospital twice, with the anxiety attacks that go with it, without any support from my husband or kids. I actually drove myself the 1st time, with my daughter dropping me off the 2nd time. I now know the real reason why I had to quit my job 3 years ago, and having a hard time just coping with day to day things at home now. We will be married 25 years and I’m having a hard time with his unfeeling attitude & drinking (because of MY “so called” attitude.) Is anyone else out there going through a similar situation?
No. He left me. He couldn’t handle it, so he bailed. He did it months before our 20th wedding anniversary which was on April 29th. Before I found out about the affair I thought we were planning to renew our vows! Silly me!
Needless to say, I know I am better off without him, but its hard.
My levothyroxin was just raised another 25mg. Up to 137. Wish me luck! And good luck to all of you dealing with this unfortunate disease.
My heart truly goes out to those of you with unsupportive spouses or significant others. I’m just stunned reading some of these posts. How can someone who loves you not support you through whatever life throws at you? I cannot imagine having to fight this alone or without my DH supporting me. Being hypothyroid and having many of the other things that go along with it (adrenal fatigue, gluten intolerance, imbalanced hormones) is hard enough on it’s own without someone berating you for something you have no control over.
Reading these posts, I realize once again how lucky I am to have my DH. He has been tremendously supportive. He encouraged me to seek a second opinion when I wasn’t getting better. He’s celebrated every weight loss with me (so far I’ve lost 13 of the 30 pounds that I gained). He gets super excited when I find good tasting gluten free food, hugging me and telling me how happy he is for me. He never complains about the money I have to spend going to the doctor, getting supplements, or buying a $7 loaf of gluten free bread even though money is tight. Instead he tells me that my health is priceless to him. He was so sad when I was tired all the time, and now he’s just thrilled to finally have his energetic, clear brained wife back. And I’m glad to be back!
I was going to college full time, working part time, raising 5 children (incl. twin babies) and steadily gaining weight. My husband said, “Look at you, you’re letting yourself go to hell” and other assorted unkind remarks. Naturally, I was exhausted. But I became alarmed when I started falling asleep behind the wheel. My doctor said “Everyone wants to blame their weight issues on their thyroid. Why don’t you just push the plate away and take up jogging?” But she humored me. When my TSH came back off the charts, I got a new doctor, eventually dumped my unkind husband, and never looked back.
I don’t think that my husband really gets it and he doesn’t really give a crap.i tell him,”If it doesn’t concern you,you don’t care.” He doesn’t go with me to Dr. appts. and the last one,he didn’t even ask about how it went.Despite being on meds,there are days when I just feel terrible,like I have been on a three day bender or something(Thyroid disease-all the effects of drinking,with none of the fun!LOL!)I have been feeling pretty crummy the last few days,and today he finally asked “What’s YOUR problem?”,nice huh?I just looked at him and said”What do you care?”and walked out of the room.I have been especilly upset becuse I thought I was turning a corner-my hair loss had slowed down ALOT,and bout a week ago it went into overdrive again,and
I have no idea why,I’m not doing anything different.It got to me today and spent a good portion of the afternoon crying and asking God why I had to get this disease
He had his hours cut at work and has been telling me I need to get a better job,like I have the energy for that!The job I hve now is perfect for me because i set my own hours.I do merchndising and as long as I get projects done by their due date,they don’t care when I work, so on days I really feel like crap,I can take it easy.I really wish I could give him Thyroid disease for a day-one of my really bad days!-and let him see what it’s like!i have been wishing alot lately for my pre hypo dys when I just took everything for granted-my health,my hair staying in my head.I realy think if I go bald from this he will walk.And maybe that isn’t such a bad thing!He never used to be like this,but the longer we are married,the more he changes.Like I need that stress on top of everything.Those of you with supportive spouses-kiss the ground they walk on because you are incredibly lucky!!Wishing healthier days to everyone
If you continue as a couple to live the same lifestyle you did that brought you the disease than expect other problems/diseases to appear. That is why autoimmune disease sufferers tend to get more autoimmune diseases. If you don’t change the diseases will change you and your life. Today I eat differently, cleanse and detox, exersice, have a different mate, have a different spiritual outlook and 0 diseases. Paul
After reading these many posts regarding unsupportive spouses, I am outraged and relieved all at once. I say both because my husband is FAR from supportive…consistently asking me when am I heading to the gym. I get so fed up with him constantly harassing me about exercise and diets. He doesn’t even remotely care that I am doing my best and am trying so hard to lose more weight.
These spouses that are unsupportive of us are acting quite poorly. Afterall, didn’t we take vows to love each other no matter what? It is truly shocking to see how many of you are going through the same thing…silently suffering as our spouses bludgeon away at us for having health problems which cause our weight to stay on our bodies with a tight death grip.
I am relieved, however, to know that I am not alone. So, to all of you with unsupportive spouses, you are doing a great job. You’re beautiful no matter what! The weight will come off eventually or it won’t…but you’re still a wonderful person…regardless.
Finally I see someone with a 4 grain dose. I thought I was the ONLY one with a four grain dosage! I have been working since September ‘08 to lose 60 pounds, and it’s a long hard road. Lots of chicken, lots of veggies, and lots of fruits. I’m not a perfect dieter, but hypothyroid has made me look at food differently. I’m 33.40 pounds down people! IT CAN BE DONE!
To im2di4 — Some of my relatives have had hypothyroidism that didn’t stay and in trying to figure out what the h*** was happening, I spoke with my elderly aunt who is VERY with it mentally (knows ALL the minute details of her own health — worked as a social worker in a hospital for many years!!) Anyway, in her youth, she collapsed at work with hypothyroidism! She told me that her Basal Metabolic Rate was minus 35 and that she was put on 5 grains of armour thyroid!! I don’t know what size she was at the time, but most of her sisters are about 5 feet and 3 or 4 inches and quits slim. She told me that her thyroid problems got better AFTER having kids!!??? So then I really wondered what went on!!! Now she has trouble keeping her her weight over 100 pounds!! She is pretty active because of her heart condition and does eat well — no junk!
My hubby does not bug me about my weight gain but definitely treats me differently yet he too has to lose weight. I have hair loss, cold intolerance etc and hubby likes to poke fun about anything that is going on…if I am running late for an appt he will say “it must be your thyroid making you late”. Stupid stuff like that because he feels I use my thyroid as an excuse yet have shown him numerous articles on the effects. He just doesn’t get it. Seems not many do
Paul Blake MH – He indicates that we brought this disease upon ourselves and we are doing things to make it worse. Another one who has no idea. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s after having a baby – a very large baby by the way. Prior to this, I was eating healthy and exercising and thin. After diagnosed I spoke with family and learned that there were several people in the family with thyroid problems who have weight issues too. All I know is that daily I exercise and watch my calorie and fat intake. Still I cannot lose 20 stubborn pounds. 20 lbs. would be to achieve the highest recommended weight for my height and by no means my previous weight. This is a frustrating disease.